Promoting independence and letting go
It is healthy for all young people to move towards achieving as much independence as possible. People with a physical disability may not always be able to be as physically independent as people without a disability. However they can be independent in many other ways. This page provides information about how to promote such independence.
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Why promote independence?
Many children with a disability are sheltered from taking risks. This is not surprising given the amount of people in their lives, such as, parents, carers, school staff, childcare staff, friends and extended family.
Becoming independent helps the child by:
- teaching them that it is OK to make mistakes
- helping them to discover the powerful learning that can result from making mistakes
- helping them to take responsibility for the decisions and choices they have made and will need to make into the future
- providing an opportunity to understand what happens when they make certain decisions.
However the idea of being independent can be frightening for children and equally scary for parents. This can be due to:
- needing extra care because of their disability in the early part of their life
- children and adolescents picking up on the fears of their parents and not being prepared to take risks
- parents wanting to protect their child from negative experiences in the wider community
- the understandable difficulty for parents to ‘let go’ of a child for whom they have given up a great deal and who they also love unconditionally.
The key to promoting independence is the positive support, praise and encouragement given to children. This changes the way that they think of themselves, which in turn reduces fears and negative feelings about the idea of becoming independent. This experience helps people make better choices and decisions.
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What may affect independence
Being able to make choices in as many areas of life as possible.- Being able to make your own decisions.
- Having your own privacy and personal space.
- Having the freedom to make mistakes.
- Being provided with good, reliable information.
- Having the basic skills necessary for living, such as self care and money skills.
- Being assertive.
- Having a good self-image.
- Having the support of other people.
- Being able to get assistance from people who are employed to provide care (care attendants) at the request of the person with the disability.
- Having aids and gadgets that make it possible for the person do things without help.
- Living in adapted housing – having ramps and rails built in.
- Being able to use community services, such as the public transport service.
- Being able to use an advocate when this is required.
- Having opportunities to work – either on a paid or unpaid basis.
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For more information
Novita Children's Services psychologists
Novita psychologists can provide information about this topic, counselling, and other materials that may be of assistance. They are also sometimes involved in running courses for families to support them in learning how to promote independence.
Nexus parent newsletter
Nexus includes articles by parents and therapists about courses to promote independence, and activities that demonstrate a degree of independence.
Books
The following books can be found in the Novita Toy & Resource Centre. If you are registered with the Centre, you can borrow them by completing the on-line request form.
- Hannon, K E & Thompson, M A (1992). Life skills workshop: an active program for real life problem solving. LinguiSystems, United States
- Parsons, C (1986). Leaving home. Chambers, Edinburgh, Scotland
- Patterson, C (1988). It's OK to be you!: feeling good about growing up. Century Hutchinson, Auckland, New Zealand
- Rutherford Turnbull III, H (1989). Disability and the family: a guide to decisions for adulthood. P H Brookes Pub. Co., Baltimore
- Wehman, P (1985). Functional living skills for moderately and severely handicapped individuals. TX Pro-Ed., Austin
Disclaimer Detail: The above information on is of a general nature only and does not constitute advice. Novita Children's Services makes no representations, express or implied, as to the accuracy, usefulness, suitability or application of the information to a child's particular circumstances. Use of the information above is at your sole risk, and you should seek professional advice before acting or relying on the information. Novita Children's Services accepts no liability for any damages or loss that may arise from the use of, or any omission from, the information provided. In using this site, you are agreeing to the Terms and Conditions of Use for the site.